| Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 |
| 11:01 am |
Mumma forgot my birthday. Everybody forgot my birthday. It's because nobody loves me, and I'm depressed. It was May 1st by the way, but nobody cares. Except Mumma did give me some of Gramma's speshul gravy on my birthday so I guess that was good. I wish she would throw me a big party like she threw for Aunt Jen. |
| Tuesday, April 5th, 2005 |
| 1:40 pm |
Duuuuudes, I am soooo trippin right now!! MY DADDY IS TAKING ME ON A WALK WITH THE EXTENDO LEASH!!!!!!1111111111 THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr |
| Wednesday, March 30th, 2005 |
| 10:15 am |
Mumma and I had our two year anniversary the other day. We had a lovely time celebrating. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. I jumped off the bed. I jumped on the bed. All in all, I would say it was a pretty good celebration with my Mumma. The weather has been so nice, I could sit on the porch and bark at noises ALL day long!!! |
| Wednesday, December 8th, 2004 |
| 8:32 pm |
I HAVE A DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
Mumma called me weird for not getting into the bag of treats that have been sitting on her bedroom floor but finding dirty panties and eating the heck out of them. Mumma also told me I should make a Christmas wish list: treats of any sort any food that's not dog food live birds live squirrels a sweater that is NOT gay cat poop spikey collar lots of walks rawhide to kick daddy in the nuts STEAK grandma n grandpa old dirty panties!! Current Mood: CRAAAAAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Current Music: Enrique Iglesias - Hero...a man made mumma a love cd |
| Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004 |
| 8:19 pm |
Planted quietly at my mumma's feet, I have been pondering many great things. Mumma gave me food from a can today. I licked it all up. I can't figure out why she didn't do that sooner. I've been sharing my Mumma (and my bed) on and off with this boy. He has blue hair, but now it's in a funny shape. I like to rest my head on his crotch. It's soooo warm, but I don't think he likes me. Mumma seems much happier lately, and I am much happier because she throws her panties on the floor now so I can eat them whenever I want. I thought she didn't like it when I ate her panties, but this new boy must have convinced her otherwise cuz he helps her throw them on the floor for me. What? The cat is still dumb because all cats are dumb. I'm the toughest bitch you'll ever meet. Cat poop isn't too much to my liking these days. |
| Thursday, June 24th, 2004 |
| 12:14 am |
*burp* Mmmm...PANTIES!!!!!! Just like my ex-daddy. |
| Monday, April 5th, 2004 |
| 11:58 pm |
Saturday, Muuma took me to the place I always think I'll like because it smells like other doggies, and then I HATE cuz it hurts me. They gave me a shot, and I walked like a Gramma for the rest of the day. PS I have lived with my Mumma for over a year now. I hope she keeps me FOREVER and EVERRRRRRRRRRRR. |
| Sunday, March 7th, 2004 |
| 6:35 pm |
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| 10:13 am |
Some bitch started screaming in the street outside of my house last night. I started barking and barking and barking and barking and barking and barking and barking and then Mumma gave me a treat so I gobbled it down quickly so I could bark some more. Mumma kept telling me "Hush Kali!", but I was cheering them on. I wanted to see them throw down!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!! |
| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004 |
| 8:13 am |
This new cat is a pussy, and I'm tired of being yelled at because she's so wimpy. All I want to do is sniff her stitches and hang out in my own house dammit. She's my size and she keeps running away from me. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I still rule the house. Current Mood:  pissed off |
| Sunday, January 4th, 2004 |
| 2:05 pm |
Oh, and I woke up this morning to Oliver CAGED. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we're finally starting to see who the ruler of this house is. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! |
| 1:58 pm |
Why isn't Mumma a sloppy eater? I've been sitting under her chair for 10 minutes and not even a tiny crumb of hamburger has fallen! I think it's anti-crumb food designed specifically for people who don't like sharing their lunch with their puppies. NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!! |
| Thursday, January 1st, 2004 |
| 11:08 am |
Happy New Year dogs and people!! Auntie Jen made me a new user pic of me sniffin out some drugs in her purse. I bet she's a druggie. I smelled something!!!!!!!!!!! I hope nobody got sick like Mumma. She was throwin up like Oliver usually does, only she put hers in the big white water bowl so I couldn't eat it. |
| Tuesday, December 30th, 2003 |
| 3:29 pm |
I got a new piece of jewelry today!!! It's green, but Mumma says it's not an emerald. It's shaped like a little mitten. Mumma says that's what Michigan looks like. I think Michigan looks more like trees, but I'm just a lil dog. What do I know. And she won't take me to Missouri when she goes to see ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) theratedrguy so I wouldn't know the difference between Michigan and Missouri or any other place anyway. Ohhhhhh!! Mumma says is my license!!!!!!! Maybe now I can cruise the strip lookin at hot big doggies in the honda civic n hang my head out the window all I want!!!!!! I tried to hop in the driver's seat n drive, but Mumma almost sat on me so I moved over and smudged up her window with my lil nose instead. I guess it's not that kind of license. Mumma said that's why she got me sprayed. So my license wouldn't cost so much. I don't know about all that. I think she's crazy. I just hope I never have to get sprayed again. |
| Sunday, December 14th, 2003 |
| 11:06 am |
The shit Mumma makes me do. *sigh* And now instead of watchhin Rich Girls (the episode with all the doggies!!), she's making me watch a show about ugly beard man from somewhere far away. Mean Mumma!!! I wanna play and not wear gay white bow!  |
| Sunday, November 30th, 2003 |
| 8:51 pm |
I know it's been a while, but there's not much more to talk about than the green puke I spit out this morning n then ate most of. No doggie boyfriends to play with. No kids to bite. Life is pretty bland. |
| Wednesday, November 12th, 2003 |
| 12:08 pm |
Where did my mumma goooooooo???? I thought that if I peed on her stuff, she'd surely come back. And she's not heeeeeere!!! Current Mood: abandoned |
| Sunday, October 26th, 2003 |
| 12:21 am |
Mumma came home smelling like Canadians. Mmm...they smell goooood! Plus, she brought back treats so I guess I won't pee on more things today. |
| Thursday, October 2nd, 2003 |
| 8:07 am |
I could be wrong, but I think Mumma is pissed at me. I thought panties were for eating. Huh. |
| Monday, September 29th, 2003 |
| 6:36 pm |
I think I'm going to be cat poop for Halloween. I'll cover myself in cat poop, and nobody will ever know I'm a lil dog!! They'll all run away from my super scary costume!! |
